37. The Diary of a Nobody

The Diary of a Nobody - George and Weedon Grossmith

Originally published in 1892. Funny. Nothing really happens other than the normal day to day grind of an average guy. Still, it is funny.

13. Helen's Babies: With Some Account of Their Ways Innocent, Crafty, Angelic, Impish, Witching, and Repulsive, Also, a Partial Record of Their Actions During Ten Days of Their Existence.

Helen's Babies: With Some Account of Their Ways Innocent, Crafty, Angelic, Impish, Witching, and Repulsive, Also, a Partial Record of Their Actions During Ten Days of Their Existence. - John Habberton

This is a humorous novel published originally in 1876. I like old books sometimes.

It is considered a children's book, but it along the lines of The Jungle Book, Peter Pan or Narnia. Definitely not a child's book as far as reading, but probably pretty entertaining for a child if it is read to them.

This one is about a man who lives in the city who gets a letter from his sister asking if he will spend a few weeks at their country home with her children while she goes on vacation with her husband.

He agrees. The children are five and three year old boys. They are feisty little buggers and get into a bunch of boy trouble. It is quite funny.

Oh, and the uncle falls in love with a country girl and moves to his own little plot and starts a whole new kind of life. Whatever.

It was fun reading this book and living in a different era for a while. The kids had a cart pulled by a goat. What fun that would have been growing up. Darn.

9. Orange Crush

Orange Crush - Tim Dorsey

This book has been on the active reading pile for about a month. I think I started it about that long ago anyway. It is finally finished. I am finally done wrapping up the unfinished business from 2011. :-)

This is a funny book full of humor and satire concerning politics in Florida. The Lt Gov of the state is a shoe in to become the next governor because he tows the party line. In fact...he IS the party line. he has lived it so long that he can't think any other way.

Then, by a fluke, he is sent with the Florida Army Guard to Bosnia. He gets involved in events that change his perspective. Well, it is more like it actually changes who the man is.

When he returns he is suddenly concerned about issues and justice and reform and all that stuff. Not just yakking, but actually doing it.

During the course of his campaign there are many hilarious events and numerous outstanding characters. It is a raucous good time and full of stereotypical political joking.

If I didn't have a to be read pile as high as my house I might go look for more from this author. I do have that pile, so, sorry Mr. Dorsey. Maybe some time in the future if I live a long time.

7. The Enlightened Bracketologist: The Final Four of Everything

The Enlightened Bracketologist: The Final Four of Everything - Mark Reiter and Richard Sandomir

This book shows me the most awesome idea I have seen in a long time. What is your favorite movie? What is your favorite restaurant? What is your favorite anything? This book shows a way to reach a definitive, once-and-for-all answer to all of those questions.

"What is enlightenment?

Better question: What is Bracketology?

Bracketology is a way of seeing the world so that we can become more enlightened- about what we like, favor, prefer, abhor, or abjure. It is a system that helps us make clearer and cleaner decisions about what is good, better, best in our world."

"Bracketology- the practice of parsing people, places and things into discrete one-on-one match ups to determine which of the two is superior or preferable- works because it is simple."

I had this book on the counter when friends came over this weekend. We made some brackets to figure out "what sucks the most" just for fun. It really was fun going match up for match up and figuring out why a hangnail sucks more than running out of gas, or vice-versa. Between the tree of us we came up with different answers to what sucks the most. There winners were terrorists, cancer and the IRS freezing your bank accounts. The process of reaching those conclusions from the beginning 32 sucky things was a lot of fun.

Later I took that a step further knowing I was going to be blogging about this book. I created a single elimination bracket of 128 books I liked. What would be my favorite book when they are all pitted in head-to-head?

There were some very tough decisions along the way. There were also some no brainers. It is easy to say "Slaughterhouse 5" beats "Logan's Run". It is not so easy when "The Great Gatsby" and "Into The Wild" meet in the sweet 16. That was one of the hardest decisions. I went with "Into The Wild" after much thought. I still wrestle with that one.

"Darkness At Noon" beat out "Shutter Island" then lost the next round to "The Kite Runner", which in turn lost in the following round to "Lolita". Any one of those four is an outstanding book. It stinks to have to eliminate any of them at all, but something had to win.

I had fun doing this bracket. The overall winner? For me, at this time, it was "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich" by Alexander Solzhenitsyn. I have no regrets in that book winning. It was great. Along the way it took down two outstanding books about Vietnam. "The Short-Timers" and "The Things They Carried". Both amazing books in themselves.

I am including a copy of this bracket below for your perusal. I am sure yours would be different. Go for it. I would love to see what happens with others doing the same.

You can get your own brackets here? http://www.printyourbrackets.com/

79. Rally Round The Flag, Boys!

Rally Round The Flag, Boys! - Max Shulman

I found this humorous book printed in 1958 and it jumped to the top of the to-be-read stack.

I enjoyed every minute of it. It was a different time. The same book written today could never be pulled off and still be funny.

Imagine it is 1958. We are in a small Connecticut coastal town where the old blue blood Yankee Mayflower descendants and the professional New York City commuters live in the same community, but they are pitted against each other at town meetings for control of everything. The commuters are all lawyers, accountants and Broadway moguls. Now throw in a plan to build a US Army Nike missile base that will defend Bridgeport airspace in that town.

Some of the funniest parts were discussions about how to protect their daughters from the incoming Army soldiers. It was hilarious.

74. Why We Suck

Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid - Dr. Denis Leary

What a pissa! This dude cracks me up.

This book reminds me of conversations with Billy and Brian Skidmore or many other friends from Long Island.

It is what it is.

73. Long Time Leaving

Long Time Leaving: Dispatches From Up South - Roy Blount Jr.

A liberal southern democrat who has lived in Massachusetts and New York compares where he came from with where he is. It is kind of funny at times. It rambles on and on at others.

I loved the comparisons of people's viewpoints and ways of life.

Blount lost me about half way through when he started these long dialogue discussions between William Faulkner, Shakespeare and Mark Twain. He didn't get me back when he spoke of Ray Charles or other singers. I totally lost interest for that whole section of the book. It was probably about half.

But, overall he had me chuckling.

I have heard Roy Blount Jr somewhere before. I did this one on audio and read by the author. I know that voice. I wonder from where.

35. Boomsday

Boomsday - Christopher Buckley

Hilarious!

I loved this. It cracked me up. Calling the young generation of today Generation W is funny. It means Generation Whatever. Ha!

This was an audio book I listened to driving to and from work. It was read by Janeane Garofalo. She sounded a lot like an ex-radio talk show host here in Charlotte named Tara Servatius. Every time I turned it on I thought Tara was baclk on the radio, and then I remembered it was a CD.

23. A Field Guide To Left-Wing Wackos

A Field Guide To Left-Wing Wackos And What To Do About Them - Kfir Alfia and Alan Lipton (Founders of ProtestWarrior)

Kind of like a field guide for bird watchers, but it is for identifying different kinds of left-wing people. Frickin' funny actually.

Each group is discussed in typical field guide format with sections covering the following: identified with a name and description, identifying charachteristics, photos or drawings, the origin of the species, behavior, habitat. call or slogan, the party line, between the lines, in their own words, required reading, best of breed, and handling tips.
Which "wackos" are covered? Anarchists, Communists, Intellectuals, College Students, Hollywood Activists, Blacktivists, Hacktivists, Proud Marys, Granolas, Peace Moms, Self-Hating Vets, Acid freaks, Dylan Wannabees, Performance Artists, Islamothugs, Closet Nazis, Security Goons and Employed White Males.
Anarchist: Someone who advocates the abolition of the state, private property, and anything else that prevents him from feeling good about himself. Like a political two-year old, he will throw a fit if he doesn't get what he wants - or throw bombs instead.

Communist: Anyone who likes the things you have, wants them for his own, and doesn't mind if a totalitarian state is what it takes to make that happen.

Intellectual: The spiritual leaders of the left, Intellectuals give lectures and write arcane tracts on political analysis with the sole purpose of providing protesters with the assurance that the hatred of America is thoroughly justified.

College Students: A product of higher learning eager to emulate superficially the political unrest of the sixties and to express a newfound concern for stolen elections, America's failed capitalist system, and America's history or facist aggression.

Hollywood Activists: A member of the Hollywood community elite who uses the capitalists fruits of wealth and fame to promote a socialist agenda.

etc etc etc...it is funny making fun of stuff sometimes.

21. America (The Book)

America (The Book: A Citizen's Guide To Democracy Inaction - Jon Stewart etal

I like Jon Stewart and The Daily Show. I don't agree with him much, but he is a funny fellow and he makes me laugh. I expected this book to be the same kind of humor as displayed on his show. It was. It cracked me up.

The book is set up as a text book. It is a spoof or parody of a high school government or civics class text. It has a zillion little charts, side-bars, graphs, explanations, expository notes, etc etc...just like all the text books have today. Many of them are just down right hilarious.

For instance, there is a full page portrait of George Washington. On the page is printed a quote. It says "Jefferson, you're on the two. Hamilton? You get the ten. I'm calling dibs on the one. That's all me, baby. What's that, Adams? You wanted the one? All right, that's it: You don't get to be on anything. That's right, I'm taking back the quarter. Anyone else want to complain? I didn't think so." George Washington, 1789 

There is a history lesson at the beginning. One part I found funny that really made me laugh out loud for quite some time and still makes me chuckle is:

"1492- In fourteen hundred ninety two Columbus sailed the ocean blue......and discovered America. Now, some have argued that Columbus actually discovered the West indies, or that Norsemen had discovered America centuries earlier, or that you really can't get credit for discovering a land already populated by indigenous people with a developed civilization. Those people are communists. Columbus discovered America."

HA HA HA! THAT is some funny stuff...if you like Jon Stewart humor anyway.

Now we get to the part where the colonists have declared independence and the Revolutionary War is under way. They write The Articles of Confederation. It is ratified in 1781. There is a quote in this area that is funny. It says "The Revolution is over. America has triumphed. Let us continue to solve and and all disputes by using violence." - American General Anthony Wayne at the Battle of Yorktown (1781)." That made me giggle a little until I realized that we do tend to just use violence. Argh...I hate it when I laugh at truth.

I will just type stuff I found funny or interesting now....

"Before the invention of the moral compass in 1907, Presidents had to rely on the crude and unreliable "moral sextant."

"The Oval Office. Because it has no corners, there is nowhere to make the president sit when he has shamed the nation."

"Quoting the President...On The Economy..."The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." - Franklin D. Roosevelt, March 4, 1933    "Oh, and starvation. We might all starve." - Franklin D. Roosevelt, March 4, 1933"

"Presidential Nicknames: Richard "Tricky Dick" Nixon - Richard Nixon was regarded as an agile and "tricky" political opponent. Also, he was a dick."

In the section describing the American Court System, at the very bottom is Mom and Dad. "Arbiter of all curfew, allowance, and homework-completion related matters. Frequently Draconian; often arbitrary, citing legally questionable precedent of "because I said so." Jurisdiction confined to "under their roof." God, you hate them. Hate them, hate them, hate them."

"Landmark Supreme Court Cases: Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka (1954): The Court overturned the Plessy ruling, declaring the establishment of separate public schools for black and white students inherently unequal. This landmark verdict paved the way for integration, the Civil Rights Movement and the Beastie Boys." Think about it...it really did...That was funny.

"Election Day is always the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November. This is because having it on the first Thursday after the second Saturday in November would be silly."

There is so much more, and a ton of it is visual. I could never explain it.

If you are a Jon Stewart fan or like the Daily Show...you will enjoy this book.

20. Running With Scissors

Running With Scissors - Augusten Burroughs

HATED IT!

OK, maybe that is a little strong. It had a few humorous moments, but for the most part I felt like I was recounting the whinnings of a bratty little boy.

Go sit on Mommy's lap and suck your thumb you cry-baby.

Didn't get it. Didn't enjoy reading it. Don't understand what the good reviews are about. Don't care what I am missing.

OK, Yes... I hated it! Whatever.

5. God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater - Kurt Vonnegut

The book is also known as "Pearls Before Swine" and the title page lists both titles. This was definately not my favorite Vonnegut novel. It was good, but not as good as others I have read.

Eliot Rosewater is the main character in this novel. he is the President of the Rosewater Foundation and a millionaire. This position and it's wealth can be transferred to another family member only if Eliot is proven insane. A corrupt and greedy lawyer plans to do just that and make a fortune during the transfer of power and wealth.

We get to know Eliot, his father the Senator, his estranged Parisien wife, the simple people of Rosewater county that he is taking care of, Fred Rosewater and the Rhode Island cousins, and a few other characters.

The story is told as a series of short stories about numerous incidents. Sometimes this feels disconnected, but it does make sense as you read on.

I realize that this book is satire and criticizes the faults in modern day American society, but I did not find it all that humorous or eye-opening. Maybe forty years ago it was more meaningful than it is today.

One thing that really did stand out was when Eliot's father, the obviously capitalistic politician and upper crust rich guy, confronted Eliot for the way he chose to live. At one point the Senator accused Eliot of being a communist. I did not find that correct at all. Dad saw Eliot's giving money to the poor as a communist trait. He saw it as "sharing the wealth". That is not communist. Communist is about taking from the rich and giving to the poor...redistributing through state control. Eliot was giving away his own money to things he found important. I call that charity. So, the Senator was wrong. I understand that Vonnegut was using this as an example of satirizing the rich as snobbish and cruel with no feelings for the poor, but it was not believable in that instance. Maybe when it was written it made more sense. That was much closer to the McCarthy commie hunts. That could be why it was used.

I will read more Vonnegut, but I will not read this one again. He has better novels.

64. The Average American Male

The Average American Male - Chad Kultgen

I think that I usually enjoy the first novels written by authors more than anything they write later. Maybe that is because they have good ideas initially, put a lot into it to try and get it sold, and after that it has become a business rather than a passion. Just a guess, but the first novels do seem to be better.

This is not true for everyone, but most authors fit into two categories. There are authors who put a lot into a first book and then are never heard from again. There are also authors who reach some level of success with a novel and then use that "format" for years and years writing the same stories over and over with different characters in different places but the same basic story. Sure, then there are the guys and gals who can really write. I think Mr. Kultgen is one of those guys I will never hear from again, but this book was still different enough to make it worthwhile. If he tried to capitalize on this a second time it would never work the way it did in this book.

The author took all the stereotypical thoughts in today’s culture about what a male is supposed to be like and mixed them together. Take all the junk you see about men on Oprah, and movies, and sitcoms, and cartoons, and Dr. Phil...and create a character that really is what all these things say men are. What do you get? A self-centered guy who thinks about nothing but sex, video games, sex, movies, sex, music, sex, hanging out with friends, sex. That is what the protagonist in this book is like. This is a man who will do whatever his significant other wishes to dole out upon him in hopes of having sex once in a while. He wishes his girlfriend liked video games. He is so anti-long-term-relationship that it makes him physically ill. He is constantly evaluating every woman he sees.

The book is good because it takes the reader into this man's thought process. It was interesting to hear the thinking about what to say and what to do in order to reach the ultimate goals of the moment. It was fascinating, and at times it was disturbing to realize that I have had similar thoughts myself. Maybe that is why the author chose to never give this character a name. That way it could subconsciously be anyone, including the reader.

The internal conflict in the narrator when he is cornered into being engaged was quite funny. I totally identified with his reasons for breaking up with the girlfriend also. He wanted and ordered “plain scrambled eggs with nothing on them” in a restaurant with his fiancée and his future mother-in-law. They got on him about why he didn’t just order something from the menu. He realized that his life would be spent having that same argument and a bunch of similar battles that mean nothing unless you add them all together. Over the long haul he either relents and does not get what he wants or spends his life in a perpetual battle for his freedom to make even the most inconsequential decisions in his life. That internal struggle was very interesting to read and I was totally on the dude’s side with his decision.

I think this book was really fun, but it was not the greatest writing in the world. It seemed kind of juvenile at times. Maybe it was supposed to feel that way to solidify the stereotype? It was probably done on purpose. If that is the case then it was better than I am giving it credit for.

One other thing: Just about all books have “acknowledgements” where the author says thanks to all the folks who made things possible. This book had the best acknowledgements I have ever read and they are worth repeating…

“Mom, thanks for always encouraging me to write and be creative. I’m sorry the end result of that encouragement is something you will not want to read.

Dad, thanks for teaching me self-discipline and thanks for giving me a good education. I know this isn’t the same as playing pro-baseball, but it’s still pretty cool.

I love you guys and I hope this book doesn’t lose you any friends or anything.”

I thought that was funny. I also think he was being as honest as he could be…just like the rest of the book.

54. Godless: The Church of Liberalism

Godless: The Church of Liberalism - Ann Coulter

Why does Ann Coulter call Liberalism a church? She explains how many liberal beliefs can't be proven and must be taken on faith. Faith is religion. Here is what the back of the book says:

"In this completely original and thoroughly controversial work, Coulter writes, “Liberals love to boast that they are not ‘religious,' which is what one would expect to hear from the state-sanctioned religion. Of course liberalism is a religion. It has its own cosmology, its own miracles, its own beliefs in the supernatural, its own churches, its own high priests, its own saints, its own total worldview, and its own explanation of the existence of the universe. In other words, liberalism contains all the attributes of what is generally known as ‘religion.' ”"

Coulter makes some very good points while discussing liberal views on many subjects. There are the typical hot spots; abortion being a big one, crime is another,  government schools and teacher's unions, the environment, embryonic vs. adult stem cell research, AIDS, etc.

She makes some very good points, but then with many of them she walks right off the cliff into a canyon of "gone-too-far".

What are some that I found to be interesting?

The Cindy Sheehan/Jersey Girls way of debate. 9/11 happened. Iraq happened. Liberals advanced their causes using these emotinal women who have suffered a loss. It is difficult to show your differences with someone in this situation without them being able to point at you and say "You hate grieving mothers", or some such equal nonsense. Used by both sides I am sure.

I remember the huge AIDS scare fromt he 1980s. AIDS was found in homosexuals and intravenous drug users but it was going to jump into the heterosexual population and devastate us. Oprah was spouting the liberal line of how one in five heterosexual people were going to be dead from AIDS by 1990. I guess not. I think I missed the story about how 20% of the population died. Where is the massive increase in heterosexual AIDS cases? According to this book the huge majority of AIDS cases in America were and are still within the homosexual population and among intravenous drug users. Sure, there are some others, but seriously far from the end-of-the-world predictions made by liberals in the 80s.

She spends quite a bit of time on Darwinism. Believe in God or not, Darwinism is a joke. It is nothing but conjecture and theory. When i went to school it was taught as theory. Now it is being taught as fact and liberals fight to the death over it. One scam after the other has been exposed. The fossil record contradicts evolution. Coulter goes through item after item of why Darwinism is ridiulous, what Darwinists make up next when something is disproved, and why the Darwinists cling to this theory with all their might. I already knew much of the specific items she discussed. I learned some new ones along the way.

Darwin must be true in order for liberals to say there is no God. How can people be true to the State if there is a God, a higher power, to exalt? The State must be the be-all end-all for the people in order for liberalism to mean anything at all. I agree with that logic. I think liberals want a more powerful central government to control the people in what is always said to promote the common good. The State will take care of everyone. Darwinism helps promote that goal by trying to eliminate faith in God. Whatever.

It's funny how it actually takes more faith in the unknown to believe Darwinism than it does to believe in God, but the Darwiniacs point at Christians and say they are backwards and stupid. Say what you want. Believe what you want. What I found so far in my life is that the people who want to believe in Darwinism will fight to keep their belief beyond reason. They will talk of science and the scientific method and then disregard the information found using their own tools.

FYI...I wrote much more about this book. It all disappeared. I am not going to type it all again. Whatever.

12. New Rules

New Rules: Polite Musings From A Timid Observer - Bill Maher

I love this guy. He is wicked funny and says some of the craziest things. I went and saw his standup routine about two years ago and laughed my ass off. I liked Politically Incorrect a lot and I love his current television show, Real Time with Bill Maher, though I don't see it very often.

So, when I saw this book on a used book shelf I just had to pick it up.

It has 239 pages, but it is not like reading a novel. Each page has two or three of the "New Rules", much like he does on his show. There are also about twenty where he went more in depth and used two or three pages to rant about certain things.

I found his rules entertaining, controversial, and sometimes just plain stupid.

In the forward he writes, "These are the rules that, frankly, were not necessary back when we practiced those old-fashioned time wasters: courtesy, consideration, and common sense." I agree with that sentiment.

This book was an easy read, but it made me laugh and I needed that.

41. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

What a funny and quirky book this was. I have never read anything quite like it. I enjoyed it and at the same time thought it was pretty silly to even be reading such a thing. Odd how it could be so stupid and yet so enjoyable.
I need to go get one of those "improbability drives" for my car. It sounds like fun.

What are the odds that i will read more of Adams books? Infinity minus one to two. ;-)

It made me laugh.

31. M*A*S*H

M*A*S*H - Richard Hooker

This is the book that inspired the movie that inspired the television show. Some of the characters are the same. Some are totally different. Hawkeye, Trapper John, Col. Blake, Radar, Father Mulcahy, "Hot Lips" Hoolihan, Frank Burns, and many others...though many of them are very different from what was on the screen. Then there are totally "new" characters. Spearchucker Jones, Duke Forrest (the third MAJOR character), Captain Waldowski (The Painless Pole and The Pride of Hamtramck), nurse "Knocko" McCarthy, and so many more I never heard of before.

It only took two days to read this one because I was having so much fun. It is hilarious and serious at the same time. Just like the movie and the television show. The antics made me laugh. The war and the reason these doctors are in Korea to begin with is sad. The pranks and wise-assed comments made me chuckle while knowing that these were coping mechanisms used in a highly stressful situation made me feel for the characters.

The book made me laugh a lot, but also made me feel reflective and melancholy at moments. I guess that is exactly why this story was such a hit in all three types of media.

Read it. It was excellent.

17. Big Fish

Big Fish by Daniel Wallace

It is an interesting story full of the recollections of a son concerning his dying father. The stories are pure fantasy. The fairy tales of a child. Things that are not physically possible that make a child think of his father as something akin to god.

Anyway, the book was OK, but it never really was able to grab me and hold me. It seemed choppy and had no real reason for the events being described. It was fun and whimsical, but also disconnected and random.

Maybe I missed something. I don't know. I don't care. It was good enough for someone to make a movie out of it, but I never heard of the movie either. Could it have been very good? Probably not something I would want to watch anyway.

Samantha liked this book enough to read it twice in her life. Maybe she will comment and tell me what I am not seeing. Maybe I am just too old to understand? LOL

17 down...so the book served it's purpose. :-)

I forgot. This book used the word somnambulist. There it was, right near the middle, clear as day. It made me smile. That is the third book that had the word this year. It was used to describe the way the wife was walking while entering the room where her husband was waiting to die. This was a small but powerful positive for Big Fish. :-)